I can’t believe it’s over, when I woke up this morning I was almost sure there was something wrong. But now the course is over for this time, and we are all looking forward to a little rest before it starts up again. I’ve chosen not to call this post ‘the last’ or ‘the end’, because this is only the beginning or a continuation of the circle, so that’s why I’m sticking with my reports.
Actually I can’t really say much about this week almost all of it is gone from my memory. To say that there has been too many things on my mind might just hit it. I really had to bugle down with the Japanese, it has really shown how lacking I actually am in this area, but I’ve improved a lot and hope to improve more in the near future.
Also I had a lot of doubts about all of the waza, the jiyu waza and ofcourse the teaching. All of that mixed with a pretty busy schedule, doesn’t really make for a healthy mind. So since Friday I’ve had to have a few low days of just letting the mind flow, to help get back on my feet, plus some actual sleep have actually helped quite a bit.
Anyways the high ( or low point) of the week was our final examination, which went somewhat well, but was a disaster for me. I was lucky enough to scrape it through, but made some really bad mistakes, that I still feel terrible about. I totally forgot ryotemuchi kotegaeshi and did the wrong technique in katatemochi yonkajo. I’m really glad that I passed, but at the same I time I feel I a little like I don’t deserve it. I’ve come to the conclusion that this is to be taken as a challenge, I messed up so the only thing to do is to do better next time, to study harder and become better. I believe this is the reason sensei let me pass, so that I can show that I deserve it, so I will do my best.
Last week I kept my focus on my feet for various reasons, but one was that I did not see any way that I would have the extra energy to spend on something intirely new. So this week I finally have the time to try and get my hips straight, a goal I’ve had since the beginning of the course. I believe that there is some kind of interplay between my posture, my feet and my hips, because in some positions I’m actually cababel of getting my hips straight, but a light movement and I’m out. And so the search begins.
Have a nice week.